and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
