I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
