I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
