I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
