Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
