Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
