ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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