I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
