i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
