Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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