whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
