So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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