He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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