I cannot find my penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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