but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
