I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
