covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
