i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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