someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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