Got a toothbrush?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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