I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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