i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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