her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
