i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize