We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Even my vagina gasped.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
