But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
