Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
