Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
