This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Verdict: uncircumcised.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
