Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
