FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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