I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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