I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Everclear isn't food dammit
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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