you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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