Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
