MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
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