I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
