what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
