It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
