You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
