so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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