i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
