Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
