Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
