My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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