I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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