Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
