Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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