Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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