i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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