the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
